Anxiety

April 30, 2015 § Leave a comment

Churning and burning, scorching my skin,

The lava, the magma, the deafening din,

I’m screaming, I’m gasping, yet there’s no air,

Save me, Oh help me, I am in despair!

I’m hurting and burning, though you cannot see,

This pain is unreal, How CAN it be!

For it’s not really pain but anxiety you know,

It feeds on my fears, and more it can sow.

It is a parasite, a parasitic leech,

There is no limit to its parasitic reach!

Nothing can help, nothing can stop,

There is only one end to this precipitous drop,

There is no escape, or I cannot find one,

Intangible  like a mirage, I only can run.

I’M STILL WALKING

March 2, 2015 § Leave a comment

In all our lives, there are ups and downs. Of course. The downs are not a problem. It’s the cliffs that I mind. Falling so deep down, that we don’t know how to climb back up. And we keep deluding ourselves that it’ll be okay. We believe that irritatingly positive inner voice. And it lies. All the time.

I’m sure bad times don’t last forever. But neither does our spirit. And one day, some of us less fortunate ones find, that we have stopped looking for the end of the tunnel. Because we are done. The boy cried wolf one too many times. And then we stop walking. We simply lie down and wait for the embrace of sweet sleep. We lose our courage to live.

What really scares me is not death, but rather “not living”. I’m afraid that one of these days, I’ll stop believing my inner liar. That I’ll stop walking towards the light and lay in the tunnel simply existing. That I’ll die before I’ve lived. The sad part is that I know tunnel has to end somewhere. Only, I wonder if I have the strength to walk all the way?… If I’m stupid and brave enough to believe my liar every time… Until it doesn’t lie anymore.

I hope with all my heart, that my inner voice won’t sin much longer. Because though I’m still walking, I’m starting to tire.

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