April 27, 2015 § Leave a comment
I hope this letter finds you well. You might be wondering why I write to you. It’s because I have things on my mind that must be said. I hope you will not judge me too harshly as a spoilt brat, whining in conceited angst. You know I seldom throw myself a pity party.
My life is wonderful. I have everything I could possibly need and wonderful people that love me. Yet I cannot help but look at my future with a fair bit of trepidation. And no, I am not afraid of the big scary world. I’m sure I’ll do just fine-in the modern sense of the word anyways. What I fear is dullness. Now I realize that with all the people on our planet who have so little, this is a very selfish fear. Which is why I don’t address this letter to anyone else.
Whether good or bad, reasonable or selfish, the fact of the matter is that I am afraid of dullness. I do not fear death itself, but I do fear that it’ll come unannounced and I’ll regret not having done more. I am young enough to “make the most of life” as they say, BUT I’m afraid I don’t quite know how to go about it.
There seem to be so many things I want to do, and not all of them are compatible. Now, I don’t want to be greedy. I know well that we cannot have it all. But, I’m just hoping to find the right balance (between responsibility and passion) to have lived life large enough that, when death does come knocking, I won’t run away but greet it with open arms.
Thank you for listening. Any advice would be much appreciated.